The Next Step

So I’m moving out on the Thursday and, unless there is some unprotected wireless to latch onto at my new place, I’ll be without internet access or television until the fifth. It’s a frightening prospect, but at least I still have my DS.

So I spent the weekend in New Bedford playing in the annual Cancer Strikes Out lob softball tournament along with a pretty good bunch of friends/relatives/friends of friends.

Because of some very bad luck (we played the only two teams organized enough to have actual uniforms), things looked a lot worse than they really were. Our final record was 1-3 (our only win coming by forfeit), but we were able to make two of the losses pretty close games, and certainly caught the “Bombers” (last year’s champs, by the way) off guard when we scored 12 runs against them in our first game. We lost, 17-12, but they were clearly not used to such close games.

Our second game, this time against “Degeneration X”, was far uglier. They scored 12 runs in the first two innings and never looked back. We were able to shut them down after that, but the damage was done and we lost 12-2.

On day two, we returned to the field, battered but not beaten and sitting in a solid 8th place out of 12. We were all ready to take on “Not Your Average Joe’s,” a team we felt pretty confident we could beat. It was easier than we thought, however, as they didn’t even show up. Win by forfeit, 11-0. A disappointment to be sure, as we all wanted to play, but it bumped us right into the quarterfinals against – well, what do you know – “Degeneration X.” A perfect opportunity to show them what we were really made of.

So we all waited for noon, when our game was to begin. 11:30 came and went, and only one player (Ookie “the cookie”, as they called him) from Degeneration X had shown up. The minutes ticked away and no one showed up. Noon came and went, and the tournament director said that if they hadn’t shown by 12:30, they’d forfeit the game. Finally, at 12:15, the rest of Ookie’s team showed up and we managed to get a game started.

We won the coin toss for home advantage and, after allowing no runs in their half of the inning, exploded for a quick five runs of our own in the bottom of the inning. There were more than a few confused faces on the opposing bench, unable to comprehend that this was the team that they had so mercilessly crushed the day before. As the game progressed, their confidence had been obviously rattled, as we saw ball after ball booted, bobbled, and thrown away by Degeneration X. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to silence their very potent offense, and watched ball after ball sail over the outfield fence and into the next field over. Where there was, in fact, another game going on. We ended up losing a close one, 13-10.

Individually, everyone performed admirably. Tellef, batting leadoff, scored five runs (out of six times on base) and made some tough catches in the outfield. Ethan went 5 for 9 and scored a couple of runs. Lauren played a solid second base and drove in a couple with a clutch hit in the first game. Jed, after going 0 for 3 in the first game, took some batting practice and went 6 for 6 after that, driving in four runs. Jen, despite a frustrating time at the plate, made several amazing catches in left and right field to keep runs from scoring. Cory also had a frustrating time at the plate, struggling with some questionable calls from our scab umpires. However, he would find his stride and crank out a home run in the final game. Gabby hit a solid 3 for 7 despite a bad knee, and on top of that, she played catcher! Andrew was also 3 for 7 and made a couple of great plays at shortstop in the final game. Erin was our star third basegirl (at least for the first day) and went an impressive 4 for 8 with three RBIs. Alice, who was only able to make it for the first day, played very solid defense at third and second even though the only glove she had was a catcher’s mitt! She also held her own when one of the huge guys on Degeneration X slammed into her at second (he was out). Kit played a very good first base and was 3 for 6 overall. Sarah, who only made it for the second day, was our second-day star third basegirl and immediately made her presence known by almost taking Josh’s head off with a laser beam of a throw to first. She was 2 for 3 in the one game we played that day.

But without a doubt, our MVP for the weekend was Joshua Borsari. On the mound, he struck out something like 7 or 8 batters over three games and went 7 for 8 at the plate with two home runs and six RBIs.

After the last game, we all wished Degeneration X the best of luck (read: asked them to beat the Bombers for us) and went out to Quizno’s and/or Wendy’s to have some well-deserved lunch. And a delicious lunch it was.

ESPN Classic ran a special counting down the top 20 worst chokes in sports history. The Red Sox were in there two or three times, but it was the Yankees who took number 1. Bet you can’t guess what for.

Pluto just got owned.

Dear Red Sox Nation,
I know we’re going through difficult times right now, dropping four excruciatingly painful games in a row to the Yankees and watching all hope of winning the division (and probably even the wild card) slip through our grasp.

Our starters, except for Schilling, can’t find the strike zone and don’t seem to be able to make it through the fifth, and our bullpen is even worse than the starters. You know you’ve fallen upon hard times when Julian Tavarez is the most reliable guy out there.

You’ve been spoiled, Red Sox Nation, and, for the first time since Red Sox Nation officially became another way for the team to take your money, you’re finding out what it really means to be Red Sox fans. You’re not supposed to be optimistic. The Red Sox have a time-honored tradition of falling apart down the stretch, and apparently somebody just didn’t get the memo in 2004.

I’m sick of Red Sox nation and I’m sick of the ridiculous expectation of amazing success from these Red Sox. They are certainly not the team that won in 2004 (nice job, Theo) and most importantly, they are still the Red Sox. And they get all the baggage that comes with it.

Sincerely,
Nathan Palmer

“They [Gen Y] aren’t spoiled as much as ‘overincented.’ Growing up, they were given incentives for every behavior their parents wanted to encourage. And so, they have no internal motivation.”
-Jeanine O’Donnell

I’d say she’s pretty close to some truth, there! Where’s Stephen Colbert when you need him…

This is a fruit of the loom ad. I’ve never seen this particular version on TV, the ads that actually get played are shorter. I tried to hunt down an mp3 of the song, but I could only find the short 1-minute version.