The Next Step

The recent release of the iPhone 3G, combined with my now having a job and regular income, is making it increasingly difficult to accept the shortcomings of my lowly Samsung T209. I find myself noticing situations in everyday life when I really wish I was connected to the Internet. The iPhone would be a big jump for me for a number of reasons, not the least of which is an incompatibility with my pocket organization system. Let me explain: I have three items that I carry with me just about everywhere I go:

• Wallet
• Keys
• Phone

These things cover the basics, and this system has been running without major errors for about, say, 6 years. Not too bad. I keep my wallet in my right pocket, and keys and phone in the left. I find that this keeps me reasonably balanced, and keeps either pocket from being too full. The three things I need to access most often are within easy reach. As things stand now, I have a flip phone, which works very nicely in my pocket system due to its small physical size and built-in screen protection. Not that I would really care what happened to such a screen anyway: so long as I can read phone numbers and names off of it, all is well.

The iPhone, alas, is not a flip phone. Not only that, but it boasts a gloriously unprotected 3.5 inch screen. Such a screen could not peacefully coexist in a pocket with my surely-jealous keys. And so we see the breakdown of the two-pocket system: is there any way to rearrange things to accommodate an iPhone?

As you can clearly see, the only way to bring an iPhone into my life is to disrupt this delicate system somehow. So what can be done? First and simplest, is there any way to live without one of these items? Can I live without keys? Much as it should be possible to live a keyless existence in the year 2008, there are certain factors that are simply beyond my control and absolutely require traditional keys. They must stay. Can I live without a wallet? Absolutely not. I could probably slim it down to the absolute bare minimum, but even then the space savings would not be substantial enough to make room for an iPhone. So if these three things must remain, what are my options?

1. External phone clip – Functional and effective, but do I really want to walk around the city advertising the fact that I have an iPhone? And do I want to be that guy who wears a phone clip? No and no.
2. Only wear cargo pants – This wouldn’t be hard for me because I love cargo pants. There are two reasons why this wouldn’t work even for me though. First and foremost, there are some situations when you just can’t get away with cargos. Second, cargo pockets are located just a little bit too low to be truly useful. I wouldn’t want to store something in the full-time, since it would hit off the side of my leg frequently, impairing mobility and potentially causing injury.
3. Carabiner keychain – Effective at isolating the iPhone, and exceptionally good for balance. Wearing keys on my belt is more palatable than wearing a phone on my belt. Still, I prefer keeping my possessions where they are not advertised to the world. Also, keys dangling from a belt could potentially swing around, causing injury or imbalance.
4. Man purse – Having experimented with a man purse on a recent vacation, I was pleasantly surprised at its versatility. Not nearly as heavy and unwieldy as a backpack, but able to carry a good deal more than pockets alone. Unfortunately, it would mean having to dig around in a man purse every time I needed something out of it. It would also mean having to carry something around just about everywhere I go. It would also mean having to endure the ridicule that comes with using a man purse.

Not an easy problem, as you can see. Hopefully I can get these integration problems ironed out so that I’ll be able to introduce an iPhone into my life someday soon.

So Ethan and Tellef and I finally broke down and bought Rock Band on Sunday, and it is awesome. The drum set is a bit bulky for our living room, but well worth it considering the entertainment value the whole thing gets us. We spent pretty much all of Sunday and Monday (huzzah for well-timed snow days) playing it with Lauren, Pat, Dave, and Walsh. Here’s the way things are looking for our band (“The Keltons”) right now:

Me – Guitar, vocals
Ethan – A little of everything
Tellef – Drums
Pat – Guitar, vocals, 4/5 drums
Lauren – Vocals, some guitar
Dave – Guitar
Walsh – 1/5 drums (Pat’s dedicated bass pedalist)

With such talent available, it’s no surprise that we were rocking for pretty much two days straight. Lauren pulls us through most vocal tracks, to say nothing of her obvious talent on the cowbell/tambourine. Ethan can hold his own on pretty much any instrument and has a better voice than perhaps he ever told anybody. Tellef holds down the drum set, without a doubt the toughest instrument, except perhaps for some particularly evil vocal tracks. Dave’s smooth upright style is perfect for the bass, and whether out of pure smoothiness or laziness he uses it for the lead too. Pat showed us all how you’re supposed to sing with stunning renditions of “Epic” and “Timmy & the Lords of the Underworld.” And let’s not forget Walsh, the bass-pedal-pushing specialist for those of us who can’t make more than two limbs cooperate at the same time.

Unfortunately, our band remains incomplete. The Rock Band box only comes with one guitar controller, and the game is completely incompatible with all guitar controllers made previously. Although it’s depressing that we can’t use the Guitar Hero controllers we invested in, Rock Band is so much fun that Ethan offered to make the investment into another guitar. And so we set out to Best Buy today to find one.

We should have done some research first. Apparently, despite the fact that the game has been out for two months, there are still no individual instruments available for purchase. From anyone. They don’t hit shelves until February 4, despite the piles of Rock Bands waiting to be bought, each containing a precious guitar controller. Considering that the game is made specifically to be played with four people, this is just wrong. It’s one thing to have inventory issues if you are marketing a game that can be for four players, for instance, running out of controllers when (if?) Super Smash Bros comes out. But when you make a game that begs for four players so obviously as Rock Band does, it is your sacred duty to make sure that four players can play a little bit sooner than three months after the game is released. Right now the only way to play four player Rock Band is to buy another box set for $170 and use its guitar controller. Not nice, Harmonix.

That said, the game is ridiculously fun. I only wish that I had less homework so I could spend more time playing it.

So the Red Sox are in the playoffs as division champions. This qualifies as Good News. However, while I was enjoying Don and Jerry’s last workday of the year, they mentioned something that disturbed me. The first round of the playoffs (the division series) would be broadcast not on NESN, Fox, or ESPN, but on TBS. I didn’t expect NESN to get any playoff games, but I did expect that the station that did get the playoff games would at least be a major player in baseball broadcasting (read: Fox or ESPN). Now I hate Fox and ESPN, mostly for their broadcasters. The quality of their camera and audio work is excellent, and you can count on them for good shots and replays most of the time, but even the mention of Joe Buck’s name makes me cringe. I don’t know who TBS plans to use as their broadcasters, but I do know one thing: TBS doesn’t have an HD station.

Sports are one of the biggest driving forces behind the sales of HD hardware and plans. Even the regional NESN has realized this and pushed out an HD station. And yet, after an entire season of watching the Red Sox in glorious HD, I am going to have to suffer the indignity of the division series in 4:3 low-def TV circa 1995. How can one truly appreciate the buckets of sweat pouring down the bald head of Kevin Youkilis without HD? Will Big Papi’s spit-and-clap be as menacing in 480i? Will Mike Lowell be as dashing? Coco as quick? Manny as… Manny-ey? It’s going to be tough to go back, TBS. You’re not doing yourself any favors with the die-hard fans by buying up rights to games that, frankly, you are not prepared to broadcast properly. The playoffs have been in HD for years now, and if you want to seriously get into baseball, you need to get with the times.

I admit, for most of my life I have kind of had a thing for real, physical buttons. As a kid, buttons were an integral part of my life. Whether it was to send a hot wheels car barreling down the stairs or a Lego person to an early grave, buttons made it happen. If you needed a princess saved or Play-Doh french fries, buttons got the job done. Unfortunately, the end has been a long time coming for my springy friends. I probably should have seen it coming with the very first touch screen.

Perhaps our society simply loved buttons too much. We flaunted our love in public with cell phones and CD players. We shared private, emotional moments in front of the television, and financial troubles at the ATM. Buttons have been my playmate, co-pilot, accountant, secretary, adviser, and friend.

And yet we are nearing what looks like the end for the button and, ironically, it seems to be Nintendo leading the way. The DS’s touch screen pulled away from the traditional model of the handheld system with heavy button use, leaving some games to use no buttons at all. The Wii was even worse, having a controller which had fewer buttons than its predecessor and which was clearly designed to discourage their use. But buttons were not gone yet. They still had a part to play in our lives, but it had become an empty, meaningless relationship. Even mashing had lost its appeal, though none of us dared admit it.

And now there is the iPhone. Let’s face it, the thing is gorgeous. It is sleek and young, and the buttons are just too old to compete. Their wrinkles are starting to show and the men don’t check them out on the subway anymore. No, in fact, it is the lack of buttons that attracts us now, so ubiquitous have they become. A device with no buttons? How could it be? Without even knowing what it is, we are immediately curious and excited.

Alas, the Wiis and iPhones of this world will only increase in number, and I don’t know if I can resist them forever. So buttons, I want you to know, even if perhaps you are not as perky as you once were, even if the grime has been ground into you to the point that it will never come out, even if you occasionally get stuck, there will always be a special place for you in my heart.

This kind of thing really shouldn’t surprise me anymore. Cell phone companies are right down there with cable companies in my book. They just seem to find a way to charge you for everything. For instance, T-Mobile lets you download ringtones to your phone for $1.99 apiece. This in itself is a bit outrageous when you consider that Apple lets you download a song to your computer for half that price. But consider also that the only way to retrieve the ringtone is by using T-Mobile’s internet-via-phone service, which costs an extra $5.99 a month. (Disclaimer: I’m not picking on T-Mobile in particular here, they just happen to be the service I have the most experience with.)

So naturally, I go looking for a way around this. My new phone, the “entry-level” model Motorola v188, came with a built-in mini-USB port, as well as support for mp3 ringtones. Huzzah! Motorola, in their infinite wisdom, has delivered me from the iron fist of the wireless companies. The savior of the little guy is ushering in a golden age of information connectivity. Oh, wait. You can’t actually use the USB port on the phone unless you (surprise!) download Motorola Phone Tools for the low, low price of $29.99. Sigh.

Every other type of connective device on the market comes bundled with drivers to let you connect it to your PC. So why do the wireless companies insist on holding us back? Do they really think that in an age of camera/video/music phones, they’ll be able to continue getting away with this? People are going to be outraged when they can’t transfer the pictures they’ve taken using their sweet new cameraphone unless they pay a nominal fee to their wireless provider.

With any luck, Apple and Microsoft will get on board the mobile phone bandwagon soon with a truckload of PC/Mac compatible phones and devices. As far as I can tell, tougher competition is the only way we’re going to keep them honest.

My dreams of a dual-screen PC/Mac setup are finally realized. And it was way easier to do than I care to admit.

I wish it didn’t. I really do. I want the Red Sox to win with all my heart and soul, but the fact of the matter is that even though they won the World Series last year, they’re still the Red Sox. And that means that they know everything there is to know about playing our emotions. It’s like an abusive relationship. We love them, give our hearts to them, and in return they just break our hearts again. And yet we keep loving… hoping that someday they won’t.

I’m headed out to New Bedford again tonight for Lauren’s cousin’s wedding. Interesting things, weddings. Funny to think that that’ll most likely be me up there in the next few years.

So we finally got cable internet and TV hooked up here and are now basking in the glory of a reliable encrypted wireless network, high-speed internet, and free HBO and On Demand for 2 months. Guess I won’t be doing any homework for a while.

Tellef’s been thinking about getting a MythTV media PC, which is exciting because I’d get to play with it. Ethan and I have been trying to figure out how to get a web server running from behind the wireless router, but yet to no avail. (Jeff…?)

That’s all for now, I have a bus to catch.

Yes, I am ridiculously behind in the whole posting thing. I have since the last post seen Ethan and Ben move out of the room, and Tellef and I have receieved two new roommates, Bret and Mike. They seem cool, they are both really into Resident Evil 4 right now and they are both Red Sox fans, so they certainly can’t be all bad, right?

Artisene is coming up fast (the 19th to the 23rd, people. Halifax.) and the forum seems to be coming back to life in anticipation, which I like to see. I just sent my dad an order for 12 Artisene t-shirts with the 1- and 2-player arcade buttons on the front and the text “ARTISENE: THANK YOU FOR YOUR PLAYING” on the back in classic Commodore 64 font.

I think for the fourth, Lauren and I (and whoever else wants to come) will be heading up to the Charles to see the fireworks. Depending on where they come from, we might get to see them from the top floor of the building where I work, which would freaking rule.

I just ordered a USB KVM switch so I can switch back and forth between my Mac and PC at will. It’s just too bad I can’t hook up a router so both of them can be connected to the network at the same time. I don’t suppose anybody knows where I can get a network switch that lets you manually switch which computer is connected to the network. I suppose that really wouldn’t be much use to anyone connected to a sane network. Ah well, in the Fall we will be in a leased property building and have SpeakEasy DSL and everything will be better.

I need to go check on my housing costs and go to bed.

I guess I have sorta… forgotten about the blog thing. Lots of stuff has been happening, the most notable of which is that I got a new computer. Well, built a new computer. Well, had Ethan build a computer for me out of parts I bought. Anyway, the point is that I’ve once again reached that fine line separating the mac users from the PC users. Much as it pains me to once again boot Windows on this desk, I simply cannot justify using an unexpandable ‘mystery box’ computer. Despite how pretty, stable, and user-friendly that mystery box may be, there are two, nay three things that pulled me back to this hellhole.

1. EXPANDIBILITY: If I want to get a new video card, I can get a new video card. If I want to upgrade to a DVD burner, I can upgrade to a DVD burner. If I want to install a new hard drive (or 3), I can. The unfortunate mac will allow no such thing.
2. GAMES: Yes, it’s a terrible, terrible thing. Game designers could play a huge role in taking Microsoft down if only they could resist making Windows-only games. Unfortunately, they can’t.
3. DESK SPACE: Yes, it’s an even worse reason than the game one, but the emac just took up too much space. Sure a powerbook or power mac or imac would have free up space, but due to their still being macs and therefore experiencing the aforementioned shortcomings, I had to go with *shudder* the pc.

And two days and about a hundred installations later, I am experiencing my first true crash (after several application lockups) and cursing Windows again. Stupid computers. It’s things like this that drive people to LINUX. LINUX, PEOPLE! Honestly, won’t someone think of the children?

Games working so far:
Rome:Total War

Games not working so far:
Tribes:Vengeance

Look for this list to be updated as time passes. I may even pit the pc and mac head to head once I get the mac plugged in again.